Accepting & Adapting

Woman scolding man at dining table

 

I think one the biggest problems in relationships are women trying to change their husbands. What is more insulting? By doing this a woman is basically saying you’re not good enough the way you are, and I think I know better than you, and am going to try to mold you into the man I want you to be. Besides being insulting, this is unbelievably selfish. It is insulting to the husband by making him feel inadequate as well as insulting his intelligence. There are plenty of things husbands would love to change about their wives, but we almost never see them trying to change them.

For example, in our closet we have a long built in dresser in the middle. It is a very large walk in closet. When my husband goes in there to change, instead of walking a few feet and putting his clothes in the hamper he always leaves them on top of this dresser. At first it use to drive me crazy. I couldn’t understand why he couldn’t just take a few steps and put the clothes in the hamper! Instead of making a big fuss about it, I accepted it and adapted. I know that he is going to leave his clothes there, so it just add it to my list of things to do. I don’t let it bother me, it’s just something that he does and is going to keep doing, and I accept that.

Obviously that is pretty minor, but I think it’s when all the little things add up it starts to get to you. You must learn to accept and adapt! Instead of trying to change what he is doing, expect him to do it and change yourself to deal with it, change the way you handle the situation.

We all have flaws, more than we would like to admit. Instead of focusing on them and changing them, why not accept them and cherish them. Realize these “flaws” are part of what makes us individuals and unique.  We are not here to be our husbands second mother.  In fact, all that does is cause them to resent their wife.  Sometimes a man will do something out of spite.  If you are constantly nagging your husband about something, chances are he’s going to start tuning you out and not do it.  Try the opposite and see what happens.  If you aren’t sitting there nagging him about something constantly he may take care of whatever it is you’ve been nagging him about on his own.

So remember ladies, you must accept and adapt!  Love every inch and every flaw of your husband, that’s what makes him special.  And in return, I can just about promise you will see a man who will love you back in the same way.

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