The Evil Stepmother

I’ve known her since before I can remember.  She was in Cinderella, Snow White, Ever After, Tangled, even Hansel and Gretel.

She is the evil, wicked stepmother.

Snow White evil queen bring me her heart box walt disney7 647890_1298423361119_full


Now I know of course Disney is not to blame for this.  They simply took stories and turned them into movies.  However, if you think about children start watching these movies at a very young age, my daughter was about 2 when she started her Disney Princess obsession.  So, starting at the age of 2 are 3 they see a stepmother as an evil figure.  She is an awful, jealous, cruel woman.  At this young age, stepmothers are given the label of “bad”.

And as they get older, things don’t change.  I can’t count the number of movies that portray the stepmother aw awful, often times being referred to as a “stepmonster”.  It’s as if all step-moms out there are being setup for failure!

This came to my attention when I was in the kitchen with my significant other’s 5 year old daughter.  She was helping me prepare dinner when she suddenly turns toward me and says “Nicki, I don’t want you to be my stepmom.”  Obviously this caught my completely off guard and I was right away nervous about where this conversation was going.  So I simply said, “Ok, why not?”  “Because stepmoms are bad.” she answered. “Why do you say that?”  And then she paused for about 30 seconds and replied “I don’t know, they just are.”


As I continued stirring my spaghetti sauce I sat there trying to figure out where this idea came from.  I don’t believe anyone told her this, and the fact that she didn’t know why she thought that, she just did.  Obviously this idea has just been sort of “implanted” in her mind through these stories and movies.

Now trust me, I am not trying to beat up on Disney Princess Movies.  I love them and own just about every single one of them.  I just find it very interesting that there is definitely a universal theme about stepmothers, and it has definitely impacted children on how they view stepmothers.

Have any of you experienced anything like this?  I would love to hear your thoughts and opinions!


5 thoughts on “The Evil Stepmother

  1. There have been a few things I’ve noticed my little ones pick up on through TV programs or movies. Even ones that are meant for their age range, I try to explain to my little ones during the movies or shows that not everyone is that way and that maybe this person was neglected growing up or wasn’t shown enough love. And that’s why it’s important for us to show everyone love, especially those who always eat alone at school or kids pick on for one reason or another. I try to turn those moments into life lessons 🙂

  2. 2 good resources are:

    Both address the roles of step parenting & even the “wicked ” stepmother. Hope you find good ideas so the kids are comfortable, willing to open up and they learn to feel good about the situation instead of hostility.

    • Thankfully I am blessed to be a “stepmother” to 2 wonderful children. I know some children are very resistant to another woman coming into the motherly role. I have been faced with the exact opposite! After she said that to me however it really made me look more into the subject and why she may feel that way.

  3. I was privileged to function as the mom in the home and lives of my two wonderful sons when they were growing up. (They are now adults.) We didn’t lie or pretend, but people who did not know us well were not even aware I was the stepmother. So when people would find out, they very often would be dumbfounded and comment on how great I was with them, or how devoted they were to me, or how much love we shared. “You’d never know you aren’t their ‘real’ mother,” I was often told. The stereotype is very strong, but you know what? The truth is, blended families have challenges that biological families do not. It takes some very special people to make it all work. I was (and still am) very blessed.

  4. A Disney series Sofia the First features a nice stepmother. She is Sofia’s mother who marry a king making her the stepmother of his two kids and he the stepfather of the protagonist.
    She even address the bad fame of stepmothers in stories and say that she will do the best to change it.

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