I’ve learned that sometimes we just need to zip our lips! Obviously as women this can be especially difficult sometimes, but it’s amazing what saying nothing can actually do.
At the end of the day, what did you accomplish by getting the last word in, or making some snippy comment, or making sure that your opinion was heard? Did you really gain anything? Chances are you didnt, and if you did it was likely an argument and an upset husband. Why is it that we are so intent on doing some of these behaviors? Perhaps this is how your mother was, or maybe how the people around you are. It could be a number of things. The good news is, behaviors can be changed!
For example, a few days ago I was meeting my husband for lunch with the children. He ended up being held up longer than expected at work, so he asked me to order food. Now, from his text message I thought he just wanted me to order the kids food, and we would order our food when he arrived. This was not what he meant, he wanted me to order all of the food hoping it would be ready by the time he got there. Well when he arrived the kids were the only ones with plates in front of them. He was immediately irritated, already being stressed out from work. He questioned why I hadn’t ordered all of the food, and I answered by telling him his text message inferred he just wanted me to order the kids food. To try to prove my point further, I proceeded to take out my cell phone, show him the text, and explain my side of the story.
What did I gain from this? An irritated husband and a very quiet lunch. If I would have just apologized for misunderstanding and tracked down the waitress to get our order in ASAP we would have had the enjoyable lunch we originally planned. Instead, I had to make something of it and prove myself to be right. I should have just zipped my lips!
Obviously this is just one example, but I’m sure we have all been guilty of this at one time or another. On top of everything, I was not showing my husband any respect by doing this to him. It was as though I was trying to be little him. This goes completely against the ways of a retro housewife. We should always shown our husband’s the upmost respect, not questioning them, and never trying to prove something.
Also, the fact that the children were there may give them the impression that it’s OK to question daddy or try to prove him wrong. Children truly do pay so much attention to us, mocking us and following our examples. We must always be careful what example it is we are setting.
I challenge us all to really think before we speak! Take a moment to think what the point of what you are about to say really is. Are you trying to prove something? Is it really necessary? Am I respecting my husband?