“You’re so lucky!”

“You’re so lucky!”

This was the reaction I received when chatting with another woman about how much my husband works. Mind you, I was not complaining about it. I was explaining how much I admire his dedication to what he does. His ability to always put others first no matter what sacrifices he has to make at times. He is the most hardworking man I have ever met.

I sat back for a few seconds trying to process things, trying to understand why she would say such a thing. She continued on…

“I wish my husband would work that much. I’d definitely have a few less grey hairs and wrinkles around my eyes.”

I am very non-confrontational, so I kept my true feelings and what I really wanted to say inside, and answered her with a smile. I wanted to ask her “well then why on earth did you marry him if you don’t like to be around him?”, but instead I said nothing. A smile says enough. As you can imagine this conversation came to a close rather quickly after that, and I went on with my day. But my mind kept going over this conversation, and it really made me think about something that sadly seems to be very common.

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Why are women constantly bad-mouthing their husbands?

This is something that happens way too often. When a group of women get together, it seems like the conversation more than not very quickly turns into a husband bashing party. Is it cool? Is it meant to be funny? Is it being done because others are doing it? What is the point?

I understand that we all need to vent sometimes, to get something off our chest. It can sometimes be therapeutic, but I think it needs to be done in the appropriate way, place, and time.

If you’ve spent the afternoon with your girlfriend complaining about your husbands together, the moment he walks through that door when he gets home from work you’re going to already have a negative attitude toward him, when he hasn’t done a thing but come home! All these negative thoughts will have been stirring around your mind, and he’s not going to receive the love and respect he deserves when he comes home after a long day at work.

Complaining about your husband is not going to get you anywhere but into an unnecessary argument later.

I personally can’t stand when a woman complains about her husband. I think it makes her look bad and classless. Respecting your husband definitely does not include bad mouthing him to others. I am also a person who believes that you should not complain about something unless you’re going to do something about it, otherwise it just sounds like whining. If you have something that is bothering you and you just want to get it off your chest and then move on, that’s fine! I completely understand. But I would not sit there going back and forth competing to see who’s husband does worse or more annoying things. Another way to do this appropriately is if you are asking for advice. If you want to see if I’ve experienced something similar or would like my opinion on how to handle or approach something, I am more than happy to listen and share with you. Besides these examples, there’s really no other time I find it appropriate to say something negative about your husband. How would you feel if the situation were reversed?

Ladies, the bottom line is respect your husband, love him with all his faults just as he does for you. If you’re with friends and they get into “husband bashing mode”, remove yourself from the conversation. You will definitely send a message and hopefully make the other women think twice about what they are doing. We must always love, cherish, and give our husbands the respect they deserve.

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4 thoughts on ““You’re so lucky!”

  1. Thank you. I wish more women would speak up about this. It gets so uncomfortable to be the only silent one at a husband-bashing party..and so, so heartbreaking

  2. unfortunately, I grew up hearing my mom and her sister doing this constantly…so for the first half of my marriage, whenever i would talk to my mom, i would complain to her about him. But then i started seeing how she would make snide remarks about him to me in certain situations…ex: I tell her i can’t go out shopping and to lunch because i can’t spend the extra money and she will make some comment about “how much has he spent on _____ lately? you deserve to do something for yourself!” And I would get so irritated with her…but then I realized that the only reason she would have for saying this type of stuff is based off of the complaining I did, because otherwise, she would have no reason. Our 3 daughters were still young at the time. and seeing how I learned to treat my husband this way, compounded with the lack of respect I always had for my father…(because I heard a lot of crap about him even though my parents are still married and he was always around for us kids)…I don’t want my girls growing up like that…being taught to disrespect the men in their lives, the men who are there to protect, care for and provide for them. So have have made sure, that I will not only refuse to speak badly of my husband, but also to correct my mom when she makes comments about him, because it is my own fault that she does. I simply say, “you know, I was wrong to say what I said about him, I was having a really bad day…pms or something, I don’t know. But it was wrong, and I am sorry I gave you a bad impression of him, because that is not who he is. I want you to love and respect my husband, and not make comments about him, especially in front of my children please.”

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