That’s what it’s all really about, living a selfless life. All the posts I write about being submissive, being a mother, being a housewife, the common theme is that you put your families needs before your own. You may think to yourself “Well, I do that all the time! I’m always doing things for them!” But when it comes down to it, are you really? Are you doing things without asking for or expecting anything in return? Are you truly living selflessly?
My husbands needs, wants, etc. are met before anyone else’s. There’s no question about it. He knows it. I know it. The children know it. He is the head of the household, and he is cared for first. Please don’t take that to the extreme, it’s a general statement. If a child is injured, sick, crying, etc. obviously they have to be tended to first at that moment. We are reasonable, logical, caring people, but there is definite order within our household. I’ve used this analogy before, but I believe it is so accurate. A Fortune 500 company doesn’t have two CEO’s or two Presidents, they have one. One person that is in charge and has the final say. It doesn’t mean that the rest of the employees or board members aren’t heard or aren’t important, but there is one person that makes the final decision about things. That is what makes these companies run smoothly and successfully. The same works for a family. Think of your husband as the CEO or President, you can be the VP. You are still very important with a role that is essential to the company being successful and running smoothly. The company couldn’t run with just the President, he needs the VP there too.
By being able to step down and let your husband take the role that comes naturally to him, you are truly doing your family a favor. You are benefiting everyone, including yourself. A wife and mother have endless responsibilities as it is tending to the house and children, let your husband be in charge and make the tough decisions for you… let him alleviate some of that stress for you! Not only does it benefit you, but it benefits him. Taking this role is what is natural to him, and you will see him become more loving and comfortable in his role, you will see him succeed because this is what he was born to do. Your children will benefit because they see a strong leader and a loving relationship between their parents, and it will really influence them in a positive way by setting good standards and morals. The family was meant to function a certain way, and doing so will make it successful. So why have we strayed so far from a method that works?
In my opinion, it’s about personal wants and needs. To say it bluntly, selfishness. A mother, instead of spending time with her young child and raising them herself, brings them to a nanny or daycare so she can take on a career in an office setting. Who is this benefiting? Definitely not the child(ren). The child(ren) wants to be with their mother. But the mother chooses a career instead of motherhood. This is most definitely not living selflessly. And many times mothers that are working are not able to take on the wifely role at home either. This is not good for a marriage as the husband is now forced to take on many “wifely duties” in order to help out. It is unnatural, and will likely cause strain within a marriage. The wife is upset because she feels the husband should help out more, and the husband is upset because he feels the wife needs to be responsible for her duties as a wife.
Did you know only 29% of women choose to be stay at home mothers? I understand of course that some women don’t have a choice, they may be single mothers or the family cannot afford for her to not work. That is a different situation. But when a woman has the choice, why would she choose to spend time in an office instead of with her children? This is something I will never truly understand.
So I urge you all, take a step back and look at your family dynamics. Are you allowing your husband and yourself to take on your natural roles? If not, make a change, it’s never too late. You will see such improvement and happiness in your lives!